Cherishing the Time We Have: A Personal Reflection on Parenting
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As a father and a financial adviser, I’ve often found myself juggling the demands of a busy career with the responsibilities of raising a family. But recently, I came across a staggering statistic: 75% of the time you’ll ever spend with your kids is over by the time they turn 12, and by the time they’re 18, 90% of that time is gone. This reality hit me hard, especially as someone who has spent years focused on building a successful career. It made me reflect deeply on my role as a father and how I want to spend the remaining time I have with my children. As a father, parenting in Dubai, away from family, I knew my kids needed more from me.
A Wake-Up Call: The Arrival of Two New Kids
The realization of how fleeting time is with our children became even more poignant when I had my youngest two children recently. The joy and excitement of welcoming them into the world were quickly followed by an awareness of just how fast they would grow up. Those early years, filled with first steps, first words, and countless milestones, are incredibly precious—and they pass by in the blink of an eye. My eldest two are adults now!
I remember holding them as newborns, marveling at the tiny lives I was responsible for. So with my two youngest, with this joy came a sense of urgency. I knew that if I wasn’t careful, I could easily miss out on the moments that matter most. This awareness led me to reevaluate how I was spending my time and what I was prioritizing when parenting.
The Role of Support: Rebekah’s Influence
Through this journey, I’ve been fortunate to have the unconditional support of my partner, Rebekah. She’s been instrumental in helping me find balance, reminding me of what’s truly important. Rebekah’s perspective on family life and her ability to prioritize our children’s needs have been a guiding force for me.
With her support, I’ve learned to be more present and engaged with our kids. No phones, no laptops, no social media is needed when I am building lego, painting shapes or at a soft play. We’ve worked together to create routines and traditions that ensure we spend quality time as a family, even amidst the chaos of everyday life. Rebekah has shown me that while work is important, and it is in so many ways, it should never come at the expense of our family. We want to teach our children, by example, to work hard, to commit and to have passion about whatever it is they choose to do in life so it is a huge balancing act for us as a family. Parenting in Dubai, away from family support, means that our children only have us as direct family in their day to day, so it is essential we get the foundations right.
We want to be parents where if our kids get into trouble they say “I need to tell mum/dad” and not “oh no, mum/dad are going to be mad”…
Lessons Learned: Shifting Focus Away from Work
Looking back, I realize that there were times when I placed too much focus on work, making it my number one priority. I was driven by the desire to succeed, to provide for my family, and to achieve my professional goals. But in doing so, I sometimes lost sight of what was most important—being there for my kids, and that is a tough one to swallow.
It’s easy to get caught up in the demands of a career, especially when you’re passionate about what you do. But I’ve learned that no amount of professional success can replace the time you miss with your children. The years go by quickly, and before you know it, they’re grown up and ready to start their own lives. I’ve had to consciously shift my focus, ensuring that I’m not just working for my family’s future, but also being present in their lives today. My influence will have a huge impact on who they become in life, and that is a role I take so seriously.
Advice to Fellow Parents: Putting Kids First
For other parents who might find themselves in a similar situation, my advice is simple: focus on what’s important. We can still work hard and pursue our careers, we can still take time our for ourselves, but our children and family life should be a priority. It’s about finding that balance where you can be successful in your professional life without sacrificing your family life. Parenting, particularly in Dubai, is so much easier, as there is so much choice around activities, clubs, etc. as well as the weather being perfect 90% of the year. Create memories, build relationships and make sure your kids know that you are on their side no matter what.
This doesn’t mean that you have to give up your ambitions, your identity or stop striving for success. Rather, it’s about being intentional with your time and making sure that your children know they are your top priority. It’s about being present for the little moments, as well as the big ones, and making the most of the time you have with them.
Creating Lasting Memories: Parenting in Dubai
I took my soon-to-be 2 year old to soft play this weekend and he climbed to the top of a slide, and asked me to go up with him. The easy answer was to say no, and for him to come to me by coming down the slide. After all, I am nearly 50, and not a petite guy – but I knew how excited my son would be if I climbed to the top – so I did. Rebekah has this on video, and my son’s face says it all. Its core memories, big or small. My son will hold onto those memories, but actually – so will I.
Listen to their stories, answer their millions of crazy questions, comfort them when they’re sad, and celebrate their successes—big or small. These are the moments that define our relationship with our children and shape who they become.
A Personal Commitment: Making the Most of Every Moment
Moving forward, I’m committed to making the most of the time I have with my children. I’ve learned that while financial planning is crucial, so is planning for the moments that truly matter—those fleeting, precious moments with our children that we can never get back. Parenting in Dubai is so much fun, and I am determined to create a life with my kids that we thrive as a family over anything else.
In conclusion, the time we have with our children is limited, and it’s up to us as parents to make the most of it. Let’s focus on what’s truly important, putting our kids first and being present in their lives. Because in the end, it’s not about how much money we’ve made or how successful we’ve been—it’s about the relationships we’ve built and the memories we’ve created with those we love.
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About Mike Coady
Mike Coady is an expat expert based in Dubai and is on hand to help with all of the above and more.
Mike is an award-winning money coach and industry leader in the financial sector.
Qualified to UK Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) standards, a member of the Chartered Insurance Institute, a Fellow of the Institute of Sales Management (FISM), a Fellow of the Association of Professional Sales (F.APS), a Fellow of the Institute of Directors (FIoD) and featured as a highly qualified Financial Adviser in Which Financial Adviser.
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Blog published by Mike Coady.
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